Fear - A personal experience

By Simon Wright (Personal piece) - Initially done in February 2011 - for my print portfolio at the University of Northampton

WE SHOULDN’T be living in the past.  Yes, everyone is going to have a degree of doubt, no matter what the event/moment is.  However, if we don’t beat the fear and nerves, where will we end up?  I believe, not in a promising position.

I THINK I can safely say that we all think about life in many different forms.  We all take life for granted until the unexpected happens which changes everything.  For some, that might be the breakdown of a rowdy relationship, or a conflict with a personal religious belief.  Having an element of fear in my life is common, like many others.  In fact, I’m sure we all have a fear of some degree.  Staying secure is important and we don’t want to be too insecure.  On one night in July 2009, I found this out to be of great cost.

     As I walked home alone on my way back from a night out in Milton Keynes, I was attacked, just yards away from my family home.  It still feels very painful for me to describe or write about the experience, even eighteen months on.  I suffered a broken nose, general shock and a stolen mobile phone.

     I was extremely lucky, as I could easily have been another fatal victim of street attacks in the UK.  However, it made me look at life in a different way.  I could have locked myself away, not wanting to go out again, be bitter about my injuries and wonder, why me?

     No, I had to make changes for the better.  If I lived in fear of it happening again, then I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Before this incident, I had always taken things for granted.  Yes, I had always looked out for people, but I had always put myself first.  I was far too selfish, greedy, over-confident for my own liking.

     Now, eighteen months on, I understand the importance of life far more than I ever did before.  Every second in life is precious to me now, I know that and I am embracing and enjoying the challenges thrown at me.  By acting tough, showing defiance and determination and getting out of my comfort zone, it makes me a better person, no matter what the final outcome may be.

I feel a stronger person for tougher previous experiences

     Sometimes, I hold back and I know it’s due to fear.  I have a tendency not to throw myself into new situations straightaway, especially on my course at University.  It’s that case of playing the ‘waiting game.’  I think that it’s fairly understandable to still feel some insecurity.  I certainly think so and if people don’t like that, I couldn’t care less.  However, I like a challenge, and after the initial reluctance/concern, I will do it, say it, whatever the final result.  Nine times out of ten, I’m likely to enjoy it too.

     Some of us live in fear and with fear regularly.  We all have it to some form of existence.  However, if we always live with it on our conscience, then success is going to be limited.  We all have elements of fear, but if they are overcome, then you will be able to appreciate life far more.  From my own terrible experience, I know how to bounce back and be a stronger individual.