Premiership goalkeeper bloopers

THE 20th Premiership season begins next weekend and to celebrate, I thought it should be time to embarrass some Premiership goalkeepers with a selection of the biggest blunders in the two decades of football so far.  I'd advise all keepers to run away and hide, because it's time to open the vault and embrace the madness!

Peter Enckleman - Birmingham City v Aston Villa (September 2002)

This still makes me giggle everytime I see it.  Peter Enckleman miscontrolled a simple throw-in backpass from Olof Mellberg and let the ball slip underneath his feet, before trickling into the net.  What was worse; it was the first Second City derby in 16 years and ensured Birmingham beat Aston Villa 3-0.  The Blues did the double and finished above Villa in their first season in the Premiership and got a serious laugh at poor Peter's expense.

Tim Flowers - Blackburn Rovers v Liverpool (February 1996)

It was a weak shot and one of the freakiest goals ever, certainly in Stan Collymore's colourful career.  His 11th minute shot hit a divot in the Ewood Park ground, which Blackburn keeper Tim Flowers had created to help with his postioning.  Collymore's shot hit the divot and bounced over Flowers head and went in.  Liverpool won the game 3-2 and this Flowers moment summed up Blackburn's defence of the title; forgettable!

Shay Given - Coventry City v Newcastle United (November 1997)

Shay Given is normally one of the most reliable Premiership goalkeepers around, but he failed to check his directions in this gaffe.  He claimed the ball from a poor cross and rolled it out, but didn't realise Dion Dublin had wondered off the pitch.  Dublin cheekily ran back onto the field and kicked the ball in the net.  Referee Paul Durkin allowed the goal to stand and it has gone down as one of the strangest in Premiership history.

Massimo Taibi - Manchester United v Southampton (September 1999)

One of the softest goals in Matt Le Tissier's career, which still ranks amongst one of the biggest gaffes in history.  At 2-1, Southampton looked like they might cave in, but somehow, Le Tissier's dribbler of a shot squirmed underneath the grasp of Massimo Taibi.  It was a horrendous error and Taibi only played once more for Manchester United, conceding five at Stamford Bridge.  Oh dear!

Fabian Barthez - Arsenal v Manchester United (November 2001)

Another Manchester United goalkeeper to hang their head in shame was Fabian Barthez.  The charismatic Frenchman had more bad days than good and this was a prime example.  A poor clearance and losing the ball from underneath his body gave Thierry Henry, his international team-mate two simple goals.  Both blunders came in the last five minutes, ensuring United lost 3-1 at Highbury and Sir Alex looks unimpressed.

Carlo Cudicini - Manchester United v Chelsea (May 2004)

Carlo Cudicini had a couple of clangers in the 2003/04 season.  One at Highbury and another at Old Trafford.  With this one, he simply misjudged a woeful cross and Ruud Van Nistlerooy was never going to miss from close range.  Although Chelsea held on for a 1-1 draw to finish in the runners-up spot, Cudicini lost his regular spot in the Chelsea side to Petr Cech when the Jose Mourinho era began in the summer of 2004.

Jerzy Dudek - Liverpool v Manchester United (December 2002)

Jerzy Dudek became a Liverpool hero in Istanbul with his penalty heroics, which was eventual redemption for this gaffe against Manchester United.  Jamie Carragher's simple header back to the Polish goalkeeper should have be caught with his eyes closed.  He lost it and Diego Forlan was presented with an early Christmas gift.  United won 2-1 at Anfield and Dudek lost his place in the Reds side for the best part of two months.

Hereulho Gomes - Fulham v Tottenham Hotspur (November 2008)

Hereulho Gomes regular appointment with the Premiership DVD bloopers list already is enough for a TV series!  This was his worst moment of his catastrophic career at White Hart Lane so far, letting a simple Clint Dempsey in at his near post.  Not the first time Dempsey has benefited from dismal goalkeeping, and it won't be the last Gomes mistake either, I'm sure of that!  For the record, Fulham won this match 2-1.

Ian Walker - Leicester City v Bolton Wanderers (February 2004)

There have been a fair share of England goalkeepers screwing up in the past and Ian Walker had his moment of madness in this match.  Youri Djorkaeff's free-kick was met by a rather tame effort from Bolton's Kevin Davies.  Walker had the ball, then somehow lost it and the ball crept over the line.  Bolton couldn't believe their luck, earnt a fortunate point and Leicester were relegated at the end of the season.  On this evidence, its hard not to see why!

Edwin van der Sar - Fulham v Arsenal (May 2004)

Edwin van der Sar had erratic days at Fulham and none more so than against Arsenal in 2003/2004.  In November, his sensational display kept 'The Untouchables' out.  This time, he tried to be too clever and dribble the ball around Jose Antonio Reyes.  Reyes nicked it off him and the cocky Dutchman was punished.  Arsenal won 1-0 and got one game closer to that historic landmark with an extra bit of help!

FA Barclays Premiership Report (30th April - 1st May)

THE most pivotal weekend in this season’s Premiership saw some crucial results for those at the bottom of the table and a pivotal moment at the top, which give us an unexpected title race to look forward to.  Plus, it was another dodgy weekend for referees and their linesman in the Barclays Premier League.

SIGNIFICANT: Ramsay's winner could change the Premiership destination

     It was by far a classic, but Arsenal’s famous 1-0 win over Manchester United yesterday blows the title race wide open again.  It could turn out to be a significant result in the destination of this season’s Premiership.  There was a clear injustice against Arsenal in the first half, when Nemanja Vidic clearly handballed in the penalty area, denying Robin Van Persie a clear goal scoring opportunity.  Then again, Chris Foy had a dreadful game and missed a penalty shout for United as Michael Owen tumbled under the challenge from Gael Clichy.  It looked a hopeful claim, but replays suggested minimal contact was made and penalties have been given this season for far less.  The only goal came just before the hour mark.  Made by Van Persie, Aaron Ramsay stroked the ball in beautifully into the bottom corner of Edwin Van der Sar’s net.  It is a landmark goal for the Welshman, his first for the Gunners since his horrible broken leg at Stoke in February 2010.

     There would have been loud cheers from Stamford Bridge at Ramsay’s goal and Chelsea’s title ambitions were renewed on Saturday evening in controversial circumstances against Tottenham.  Sandro did power Tottenham into the lead, before the equaliser which started up the rumble of goal-line technology once again.  Frank Lampard’s shot was spilt by calamity Spurs keeper Hereulho Gomes and the ball landed on the line.  Replays were inconclusive, yet the linesman gave the goal, despite not being in any position to give it!  Lampard deserved some fortune after Bloemfontein and the World Cup last summer, but although Gomes proved again that he can’t catch a football, it was staggering to see such a certain decision made.  In the 89^th minute, Salomon Kalou stabbed the ball home from close range, despite looking like in a clear offside position.  Chelsea won 2-1, but got their fair share of fortune for the result.  It is now 21 years since Tottenham last won at Stamford Bridge. 

     The basement battle at the bottom this weekend was the Midlands clash between Birmingham City and Wolves.  A scrappy 1-1 draw edges Birmingham closer to safety, but Wolves remain in the bottom three.  It started well for the visitors, as Steven Fletcher struck from the penalty spot in the 7^th minute.  However, Wolves conceded another terrible goal, as Sebastian Larsson gobbled up a chance, gifted as an early Bank Holiday present by Michael Mancienne.  Craig Gardner was dismissed in a dramatic first half by referee Kevin Friend.  The Birmingham midfielder got a second yellow card for simulation and ultimately, it was the right decision.  However, Wolves couldn’t make the extra man advantage count.  Still propping up the table is West Ham, following a spirited 2-1 defeat at Manchester City.  The Hammers looked brittle in the first 15 minutes and looked like they might capitulate at Eastlands.  They went 2-0 down, courtesy of a powerful strike from Nigel de Jong (his first goal in over 100 City matches) and Pablo Zabaleta.  At this stage, the home side took their foot off the gas pedal and Demba Ba capitalized on slack defending to produce a good finish and make a game of it.  However, City held on and the Champions League edges ever closer for Roberto Mancini.

     City’s closest challengers are now Liverpool, although the Reds are seven points behind and have played a game more.  They sit in England’s final Europa League spot after cruising to a 3-0 success over Newcastle United.  Maxi Rodriguez opened the scoring, via a cruel deflection off Danny Simpson in the ninth minute.  Dirk Kuyt continued his rich vein of scoring form, scoring a penalty after Mike Williamson dumped Luis Suarez to the ground.  Sizzling Suarez bagged the third with 25 minutes to go and the good times seem to be back at Anfield.  Only Chelsea and Manchester United have gathered more points than Liverpool since Kenny Dalglish took over in January.

DECISIVE: Martin Olsson celebrates his pivotal winner for Blackburn

     There was plenty of pride and passion from Wigan at the weekend, but they only picked up a 1-1 draw against Everton, on a weekend when they probably needed the three points.  Charles N’Zogbia smashed Wigan into a first half lead, but Mikel Arteta dragged Everton level after a stupid handball from Hugo Rodallega in the penalty box.  Ali Al-Habsi saved an Arteta penalty in the first half, so the result could have been even worse for Wigan.  At Ewood Park, Bolton’s poor away form continued, allowing Blackburn to record a 1-0 win and their first maximum three points in the league since January 22.  Martin Olsson scored the decisive goal in the first half, which eases some of the pressure on Steve Kean.  The first ever 0-0 draw in the Premiership at Bloomfield Road happened on Saturday.  There was little to report from the Blackpool v Stoke game, as both teams attacking was poor and defences ended up well on top.

     In the academic matches, West Brom beat Aston Villa 2-1 to record their first win against the Villains in the league since 1985, when ‘Easy Lover’ by Phil Collins was no.1 in the music charts!  Yusuf Mulumbu wrapped up the victory for Albion, despite Paul Scharner seeing red for a rugby tackle on Villa captain Stilian Petrov.  Meanwhile, Gary McAllister is still in charge of Villa, as Gerard Houillier continues his recovery at home, having now been released from hospital.  Lastly, goals from Gael Kakuta and two from Simon Davies pushed Fulham to a 3-0 win at Sunderland, who always looked like enduring a tough afternoon at home, with no first-choice recognised striker fit to play.

Next Sunday, all eyes are on the title showdown: Manchester United v Chelsea!  BRING IT ON!

UEFA Champions League Quarter-Finals, 2nd leg review - No Miracles

IF A miracle worker is present in the world today, it didn’t turn up last week, as the UEFA Champions League quarter-finals turned out into nothing more than dull formalities.

CATCH ME: Rooney chases after Hernandez, as he breaks the deadlock

     The only quarter-final of interest that had something to play for was the all-English clash between Manchester United and Chelsea.  Ultimately, it was the Red Devils who comfortably prevailed in the tie; winning 2-1 on the night at Old Trafford and 3-1 on aggregate.  Carlo Ancelotti’s appaling tactical gamble in playing a totally new formation confused many Chelsea fans, and the West London club can have no complaints about their elimination this season.  Ancelotti might as well prepare to pick up his P45 at the end of the season, because surely Roman Abramovich will not accept a trophy less season at Stamford Bridge.  Javier Hernandez put the home side infront and only when Ramires was sent off for two clumsy challenges did Chelsea ever look like scoring.  Fernando Torres’s selection ahead of Didier Drogba was startling, and Drogba made his point by equalising in the 73^rd minute and giving the visitors some faint hope.  That disappeared less than a minute later, as United went up the other end and replied in kind through Ji-Sung Park.  The treble dream may be over now, after the weekend events in the FA Cup, but a rich double still awaits Sir Alex Ferguson this season.  Schalke 04 stand in the way of Ferguson and Wembley, after winning 2-1 against Inter Milan in Gelsenkirchen, to complete a highly impressive 7-3 win on aggregate against the defending champions.  There was another goal for the evergreen Raul, who now has 71 goals in UEFA Champions League history.  Thiago Motta was dismissed for two yellow cards, completing a miserable fortnight for Inter, who have also seen their chances of retaining their Serie A title going up in smoke.  Leonardo is an adequate replacement for the unpopular Rafa Benitez, but he’s no Jose Mourinho!

OH DEAR: Another clanger from unreliable Gomes finished off Spurs

     Meanwhile, Mourinho seemed delighted to be back in England and returned to Spain, having guided Real Madrid to their first semi-final in the competition since 2002.  Madrid beat Tottenham 1-0 at White Hart Lane last Wednesday to seal an ‘El Classico’ semi-final with Barcelona.  The previous evening, Barcelona had won by the same scoreline against a hard-working Shakhtar Donetsk side, with Lionel Messi on target.  In North London, Cristiano Ronaldo’s goal was the difference.  However, his shot was horribly dropped into his own net by bumbling Hereulho Gomes.  Gomes has cost his side three goals in this quarter-final showdown and I’m afraid to say, doesn’t cut it at this level for me.  If he can’t catch a football, then he has no hope!  Despite the damp exit, Tottenham have captivated everyone in Europe this season and I hope we will see them again next season, because the Champions League needs sides like Harry Redknapp’s.

     Next week sees the first leg of the semi-finals and now just four teams remain.  Can Schalke 04 cause a shock against Manchester United and will the Mourinho magic shine again against Barcelona?  Posing questions, but the final four all deserve to be here and have shown a lot of quality and mental strength in getting to this stage.  Bring on the semis! 

FA Barclays Premiership Report (11th - 13th December)

TWO weeks to go until Christmas and it was another dramatic weekend of top flight action.  Manchester United remained unbeaten, Newcastle made a winning start to a management change and Blackburn Rovers bid farewell to Sam Allardyce.

Monday 13^th December: Manchester United 1-0 Arsenal

WINNER: Park scored the decisive goal at Old Trafford

MANCHESTER United charged back to the top of the Premiership table last night, after a deserved victory over title contenders Arsenal.  United were far from their best, but didn’t need to be, against a Gunners side that lacked the ambition needed to sustain a proper challenge.  Ji-Sung Park scored the only goal, with a looping header eight minutes from half-time.  In the second half, Gael Clichy blocked Nani’s cross with his hand, only for Wayne Rooney to smash the spot kick over the crossbar.

Sunday 12^th December: Bolton Wanderers 2-1 Blackburn Rovers

GET IN THERE: Fabrice Muamba is congratulated on his goal

SAM Allardyce was harshly sacked as Blackburn manager yesterday after losing late on at his former club, Bolton.  These Lancashire teams shared a dreadful first half, but the second half livened up with Mark Davies was given a second yellow card for leaning his arm into the back of Phil Jones head.  Ten men Bolton then took the lead, when Fabrice Muamba showed good footwork to leave Ryan Nelsen for dead, before burying his effort past Paul Robinson.  With three minutes to, Mame Diouf seemed to have rescued a point for Rovers, a lovely clip over Juusi Jaaskelainen.  However, Stuart Holden snatched it straight back for Bolton, with a good finish to win the match and keep Wanderers in the top six.

Sunday 12^th December: Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Chelsea

REDEMPTION: Gomes kept out Drogba's penalty

ANOTHER sensational Sunday at White Hart Lane saw Didier Drogba waste a glorious chance for Chelsea to return to winning ways.  Roman Pavyluchenko had Spurs infront on 15 minutes, converting Jermain Defoe’s square ball.  Drogba, who started on the bench, did equalise.  The Ivorian reacted quicker than Michael Dawson to a long ball and got lucky, when Hereulho Gomes made a meal of Drogba’s shot.  Gomes miserable second half continued, when he clumsily took out Ramires in stoppage time and conceded a penalty.  However, he redeemed himself, by saving Drogba’s very average penalty.

Saturday 11^th December: Newcastle United 3-1 Liverpool

EXAMPLE: Kevin Nolan got Newcastle off to a flying start

ANOTHER dramatic week at St. James Park, and the fans displeasure at Mike Ashley was evidently shown by protests outside the ground before the match.  However, the players reacted well and gave the new gaffer Alan Pardew the dream start.  Skipper Kevin Nolan led by example, opening the scoring.  Dirk Kuyt equalised for Liverpool, gaining a massive slice of fortune, as his shot took a deflection off Steven Taylor.  Once again, Liverpool’s miserable away day blues continued in the last ten minutes.  Joey Barton capitalised on indecision from Martin Skrtel to hammer the Geordies back infront again.  Andy Carroll consigned Roy Hodgson to another shambolic defeat, finding the bottom corner from long range in stoppage time.

Saturday 11^th December: West Ham United 1-3 Manchester City

ON TOP: David Silva holds off Scott Parker in City's win

YAYA Toure piled on the agony for West Ham United with two goals, lifting Manchester City into the top three.  His first was a screaming strike, which Robert Green didn’t even see.  Toure’s second was a squeezed effort past Green at his near post.  As it came off the goalkeeper’s back, it will probably go down as an own goal, but I’d credit the goal to Toure.  In between these moments of magic from the holding midfielder, Mario Balotelli showed a childish act of dissent, got booked, subbed and went straight down the tunnel without even looking at Roberto Mancini.  Substitute Adam Johnson made it 3-0 and although James Tomkins managed a late consolation, it did very little to ease Avram Grant’s pain.

Sunday 12^th December: Wolves 1-0 Birmingham City

WINNER: Stephen Hunt got the winning goal at Molineux

WOLVES bullied Birmingham and fully deserved the three points in this local derby, moving them three points clear of basement team West Ham United in the process.  The winner came right on the stroke of half-time, courtesy of Stephen Hunt, sweeping a shot past Ben Foster at the near post.  Foster was terrific all game and prevented the scoreline from being a landslide.  It is Wolves first clean sheet of the season, Birmingham continue to look for their first away win since March.

Saturday 11^th December: Stoke City 0-1 Blackpool

TWO teams who share an affection of the late Sir Stanley Matthews played out an entertaining clash at the Britannia Stadium.  Tony Pulis will be wondering just how Stoke didn’t get anything from this match.  Rory Delap had a goal disallowed and both Ricardo Fuller and Matthew Etherington had shots that hit the woodwork.  DJ Campbell scored the decisive goal and dogged defending from the visitors secured another fighting victory for Ian Holloway’s side.

Saturday 11^th December: Aston Villa 2-1 West Brom

THERE seemed to be a massive feeling of relief for Aston Villa on Saturday, inflicting defeat on local rivals West Brom.  Stewart Downing scored the first and Emile Heskey the second, after James Collins made a nuisance of himself in the box.  West Brom’s winless run at Villa Park continued, and although Paul Scharner made it a twitchy last few minutes, Villa held on for a priceless victory.

Saturday 11^th December: Everton 0-0 Wigan Athletic

STRUGGLING: Louis Saha's lack of goals highlights Everton's problems

EVERTON could have had a hatful, but someone got none against Wigan Athletic.  Ronnie Stam had one shot saved brilliantly by Tim Howard, but it was the Toffees who were well on top.  Tim Cahill came the closest, hitting the post with goalkeeper Scott Carson beaten.  Maroualine Fellani, Seamus Coleman, Jack Rodwell and Steven Pienaar on three separate occasions all wasted golden opportunities for the home side.

Saturday 11^th December: Fulham 0-0 Sunderland

THIS game was an absolute stinker.  In fact, it was so bad that it doesn’t even deserve reporting on.  The highlight came when Bolo Zenden got knocked out by a football!