That was 2011...for me!

By Simon Wright (Personal piece)

I WENT into 2011 hoping to have a memorable year, one that I could lookback on full of positives.  As we head into the final ten days of another year, I have to reflect on what for me has been a turbulent year by any sense of the imagination.  There have been phenomenal highs, but also some lows which brought me close to the brink of making some serious errors of judgement.  Generally, I am very thankful that I have got through another year full of health and joy, but ultimately, feel it hasn’t quite lived up to the high expectations I set.

THE LOWS

Well, I thought I should start with the highs, but then it might be better to end it in a positive view.  The main problem has been not being able to settle at times and act as if something minor was the end of the world.  At my age now, I shouldn’t be making these misdemeanours and should be able to deal with life better.  Let’s be fair, life throws a lot at us and then there’s me – generally trying to blow things out of proportion.  That’s not a good sign!  A laptop charger not working is very annoying and frustrating; especially in the midst of a University year, but to go around everywhere feeling like the world has come to an end is not the right attitude.  In my case during 2011, when things went wrong, they generally went wrong for far too long by my liking.  I had a crisis of confidence in March and came very close to walking away from my second year at University.  Looking back at it now, I’m glad that I got pushed into such a position, because it made the final two months of my course go very swimmingly and made me change my outlook on how I was approaching matters.  March’s issues began with a failed laptop charger, combined with a severe lack of motivation to do any work, my general displeasure at the lack of contact with my lecturers, then a severe falling out with a close friend of mine where I really did get the wrong end of a comment and showed my raging or ranting colours shall we say.  After a weekend away from it all, I came back to Northampton a better person, stronger individual and appreciating things far more.  Those who are on my course at Uni can vouch that I was a different person throughout April and May, a time where everything did go right.  In October, things went rotten again.  This time, it was more difficult to explain.  I guess I felt everything was so distant and once again, the lengthy summer break hadn’t done me any favours.  Things got so bad; I needed a three week break from Facebook and what a relief that was.  Facebook had taken over so much and by having the extended break made November not only flyby, but made my life easier.  I now also know that I can cope without Facebook and I’m proud of that.  Twitter is the way to communicate now, especially for my professional career I hope to build in future.  As for Facebook, well I still use it, but it isn’t the attitude of desperation now; more a luxury.  These dips in my morale, confidence and attitude could have wrecked me, but on both occasions, I feel like I turned satisfying corners and that’s a good thing.

THE HIGHS

The Balestra nights out in May were wonderful memories

For me, there are four highs that standout personally for me over the course of the past twelve months.  First, was the two consecutive Thursday nights that as a journalism group, we went out together to the Balestra nightclub.  It was May time and everyone was rushing around to finish projects and beat deadlines.  As I would say, I was as cool as an ice cube and had everything handed in and organised days before!  The nightlife experience was brilliant, because I doubted whether we could do something as a group like go out, dance, drink champagne and have a memorable night/nights.  I’d forgotten what a good night out was upto that point.  I have so many great memories from those nights out on the 11^th and 18^th May and something I will take away from when we graduate next summer.  I’d like to think that we might do a few more like this in the remaining weeks of our degree in 2012.

The page I did that got into RW's October magazine

     Secondly was my work placement experience in London.  I was so nervous in the middle of July, when I went to Runner’s World magazine, part of the NatMags Company.  I didn’t know what to expect, how the staff would be around someone like me, let’s say – not your average everyday person.  There was no need to worry.  I had a brilliant fortnight with everyone there, got on well with 99 per cent of the staff, understood and undertook the tasks given to me with minimum fuss and gained a lot more skills and confidence than what I could have ever imagined.  Some of my work even got into October’s edition of the magazine, something very precious for my portfolio.  I see Runner’s World as the first stepping stone into my future career.

     Thirdly, it was working on the group project documentary for one of my journalism modules.  I had so much fun filming and especially, editing the project with massive contribution from the likes of Tamika Short and Chris Ola within our work.  It didn’t quite get the A grade we were hoping for, but it is the best piece of work I did in 2011 and the one piece in my two years that I take so much pride and place out of.  I am my strongest critic and always have been.  Looking back at my second year work at Uni; it did feel like a case of ‘not good enough, could do better,’ especially from some of the constructive and very harsh feedback I received.  However, I don’t think there was much else I could have done better on the documentary, which leaves me full of vindication and satisfaction.

Enjoying my summer holiday in Fuerteventura

     Lastly, the family summer holiday to Fuerteventura was amazing and the timing couldn’t have been better.  At the start of the year, I didn’t think I’d have time for a family holiday, then decided in April after a hard day at Uni; ‘Nuts to this, I need one!’  I left the country two days after the heist of the UK riots which were sweeping across the country.  I never wanted to leave England so badly and when Fuerteventura was over, part of me never wanted to come back to England.  It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like that after a foreign holiday.  I loved it out there, was so relaxed and really do feel like that in the future, I have a place where I can return for a break, or even set up some sort of holiday home.  So, if things get tough in later life, I can just say; ‘I need to go to Fuerteventura!’  Sorry, but it beats Yarmouth, Dover or Portugal hands down!  (P.S: No offence to any people from those destinations who read this.)

OVERALL FEELING

Am I pleased with how this year has gone?  Generally, it’s been okay.  Could it have been better?  Yes it could have, I mean, I still don’t have a clear future in mind, still single (AGAIN!) and world events this year were pretty grim to witness or hear/read about.

How would I sum up my 2011?  Character building and turbulent, with some great memories and periods where I would rather just forget I existed.

Thanks for reading my thoughts!    

March - A personal self-reflection

CLOCKS: British summertime has arrived and brings fresh hope

WHILST I spend time blogging on worldwide issues and hobbies that interest me, I felt like doing a personal blog to sum up recent weeks for myself.  The clocks have gone forward and hence, British Summertime has arrived.  I have hope, belief and conviction that things are turning the corner, when three weeks ago, things looked rather bleak.  March has tested me and I have learned some lessons which I feel have improved me for the future.

     The beginning of the month was the low point of 2011 so far.  I turned issues that were bad for me into situations which completely took me to the brink.  Having numerous problems with a laptop is pretty bad, but I should have dealt with them in a far more calm and considered manner than I did.  It affected me far too much.  I also returned to University after a production week with an attitude of ‘I don’t care,’ ‘I can’t be bothered,’ and ‘I wouldn’t compromise.’  It was the first time that I had shown any form of attitude like that in my 18 months at the University of Northampton and looking back on it, I couldn’t believe that I’d be so awful in my behaviour.  To compound matters, I had a serious argument with a very close friend which pushed me to breaking point.  I don’t want to share the details, because it’s a personal matter, but it just made things really bad.  When I left Uni on Friday 11 March at around 4pm, I left a broken individual.  I had enough and I thought that was it.  I went home to Milton Keynes to consider what to do next and more importantly, would I return?

     I returned the following Monday in a more calm, friendly and fresh approach.  If I had left, I would have taken the defeatist approach to life.  We all have bad weeks, desperate moments where we don’t quite know where to turn to next.  However, to become a better person, we need to overcome the hard moments and overcome it, because at the end of the day, what would be left if you walked away from what you really wanted to do?  Absolutely nothing!

     Although events in Libya haven’t really interested me, and that’s purely because I don’t see any point in Britain being involved, the earthquake and tsunami to hit Japan on March 11 really shook me up.  It made me think and realise that there is more important moments around the world rather than personal reasons.  To see so much devastation happen in such a well-developed country was heartbreaking.  For those who think the world has ended because ‘Oh dear, my boyfriend has dumped me’ or ‘I have no friends, find some for me;’ I’d say hard cheese!  At the end of the day, think yourself lucky that you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, clothes to wear etc.  What about those affected by the Japanese tsunami?  Lack of supplies, homes that have simply been washed away, no sign of friends and family.  These are all more important and necessary situations than a simply panicky domestic issue.

FEELING STRESSED: What's the point?

     Now, I am taking the chilled and relaxed approach.  There is no point running around like a headless chicken, I tried that and it didn’t work.  There’s no point stressing out, I’ve tried that and it didn’t work.  Taking a step back, embracing what I have and taking it easy is the way to go.  I’m pleased that March has taught me some hard-earnt and tough lessons, because I now feel in a better place for the experience.

     Of course, my thoughts still go to those who lost everything in Japan in such devastating and tragic circumstances.