MY LACK of use of video calling device Skype and Sean Lock’s hilarious stand-up at last week’s Channel 4 Comedy Gala got me thinking this week. I'd have a laugh at sport and create a new sports channel that simply can’t compete with the might of Sky Sports, with some added tweaks. Sport One is the latest innovation for addicted sports fans that simply can’t enough of sport, no matter how bad the quality is. If we compare the events Sky Sports has to Sport One, let’s see what humour I can come up with, to see if there is any competition between the two.
SKY SPORTS LIVE TELEVISED RIGHTS
Football
Sky Sports has the broadcasting rights to 115 live games from the best league in the world, the Barclays Premier League. All the matches, including the big head-to-heads (Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United and Liverpool) are screened exclusively live on the channel and are in glorified HD. Some of the games are also available in 3D. Sky Sports also has live rights to Npower Football League action, La Liga, the Carling Cup, the UEFA Champions League and Euro 2012 qualifiers featuring England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.
Cricket
Sky Sports is the only place where cricket fans can see live coverage of all of England’s test summer matches at home, including encounters this summer with Sri Lanka and India. Sky Sports also has the rights to the Cricket World Cup, the 20:20 cup and various other forms of the cricket game.
Rugby Union
A pioneer of rugby union coverage, Sky Sports is the only place to see live Heineken Cup rugby, the European rugby equivalent of the UEFA Champions League. They also screen all of England’s home winter internationals, summer internationals and the prestigious Tri-Nations series involving the Southern Hemisphere sides.
Rugby League
Since 1996, Sky Sports is the home of top class rugby league, featuring the Super League, the tri-nations series between New Zealand, Great Britain and Australia + the Rugby League World Cup.
Golf
If you love your golf, Sky Sports is the place for it. From 2011 onwards, Sky has three of the four golfing majors live, the US Masters, US Open and USPGA Championship, as well as various events from the European and American tours.
Tennis
Follow Andy Murray’s progress throughout the year with the key ATP Masters series events from Indian Wells, Monte Carlo, Paris and Rome amongst others. Also, the US Open is exclusively live.
Motor Racing
Is not a leading foray with Sky Sports, but they do have live rights to the Indy Racing League, which includes the prestigious Indianapolis 500 and live NASCAR.
SPORT ONE LIVE TELEVISED RIGHTS
Football
If you love your football and I mean love it more than drinking a cold pint of Carling, then Sport One is the place for you. Sport One has live and exclusive coverage of the UK Pub League, featuring the leading pub teams from across the country. They are with you every step of the way, with some 200 live matches screened in standard definition only from some of the filthiest pitches across the country. It isn’t just pubs that get the live coverage deserved in football rights. Sport One also has live and exclusive rights to the Ford Pub Cup, sponsored by the all-new Toyota POWERDRIVE! The winner of this prestigious competition doesn’t get a place in Europe, as the team get to share a brand-new Toyota between them, which I have been assured will not carry any dodgy accelerator parts! There is also live coverage of the Primary Schools Lunchtime League, the Periodista Liga (featuring the best journalists in Spain), the 7UP Cup with the final infront of three people on the racecourse in Northamptonshire and coverage of the 2012 0ver 40’s European Championship, with qualifiers featuring the best sides in Europe; Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Andorra, San Marino and Armenia! Sport One offered to do a new football drama on a fictional football club, starring England legends, but the legends turned it down as they were worried it was going to be the real-life drama of Sky One’s Dream Team (which ran from 1997-2008).
Cricket
At Sports One, they don’t do live cricket, as it is simple too bearable to watch. So, they show highlights packages every summer of the Umpire Associations Division, again featuring the best teams from England. They can umpire the game, but can they play it? The winner of the division at the end of a hard-fought season gets a lifetime supply of bananas from ASDA for their efforts! There is live coverage however of the Six Balls Cup, as teams aim to make the most of playing cricket in just a single over; the quickest form of cricket around. Sports One will also follow the England Builders Cricket Association, as they tour the world to play seven tests against Estonia and Georgia this winter! Let’s see if that entire sleeping and regular coffee break pattern comes into any fruition here!
Golf
Sports One don’t cover golf, because simply they are more interested in sport that actually matters!
Motor Racing
The new concept of motor racing has arrived. Created and supported by the Daily Express, it’s the Daily Express Counties Cup of Motorsport. 22 counties across England (ranging from Northamptonshire and Nottinghamshire, to Staffordshire and Lancashire) come up against one another, racing on some of the finest go-karting tracks and streets in the country. The season finale on a gravel pit in the Channel Islands is a must see. Other prestigious motorsport events are the Tesco Car Park 500, as 501 cars compete for 500 parking spaces, with the one left at the end being declared the winner! Of course, let’s not forget the British Lawnmowing Championships, as Britain’s best lawnmowers take part in 20 events across the country to find out just who is; Britain’s Best Gardener!
Tennis
Andy Murray had to start somewhere and tennis is thriving at the moment, especially with Wimbledon around the corner. Sports One will not be covering the SW19 championships, due to its crammed scheduling, so instead, it brings you the Fictional Lookalike Tennis tour, with the likes of Ian Beale, Scary Spice from the Spice Girls and Fabio Capello taking part. They will do well to beat Mojo the Helper Monkey, who has been ranked no.1 for the past seven years. Wonder if he got any inspiration from Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer’s dominance of the ATP tour! Of course, in the Fictional Characters Tennis tour, there are four grand slams; the Butterfinger Open from Springfield, USA (Homer Simpson has won four years running!), the Traffic Jam Open held at Spaghetti Junction, Ice Cream Open, in the land of Ice Creams and the Sauce Open, held in the pleasant countryside of Emmerdale, in the Yorkshire Dales.
Horse Racing
Whilst the Cheltenham Gold Cup, Royal Ascot, The Epsom Derby and the Grand National take the highlights of the horse racing calendar, nothing can beat the football mascot national, which sees all 92 mascots taking part in a series of legendary jumps and chases across the UK. From Towcester and Yarmouth, to Wolverhampton and Newcastle – which mascot will come out on top and win a lifetime seat on the board at their football club!
OTHER EVENTS
Other events to be screened on Sports One are;
The YouTube Amateur Rugby Union Premiership (The best secondary school rugby around)
The European Tag Rugby Cup, sponsored by Heinz (Winner gets a lifetime supply of Heinz Baked Beans).
The More Fun than Watching Paint Dry World Snooker Championship (The best painters in the world meet every year to see who is good enough at snooker and replace the Dulex dog as its main advertising campaigner. (The Dulex dog is being knighted for his services to television broadcasting, and his owners have decided to retire him at the top.)
The University Wrestling Festival (Screw the League Tables, The best University students fight it out in the three-day wrestling event to see who really is The Best University in the UK)
The Water Pistol Championships (Target practice is of the essential, just what can you knock out of the hands of your competitors)
So, forget Sky Sports, because if you love your sports, it has to be Sports One. The new channel is coming soon to Freeview, so you don’t have to miss out! Enjoy the wild and wacky side of sport!
NOTE: Sports One is a fake sports channel and IS NOT A REAL LIFE channel!
No comments:
Post a Comment